Tag Archives: personal-growth

8 Things Happy People Do Differently

Being happy is a state of mind yet folks get mired into what is happening around them and decide to stay unhappy. Or let’s say they do not decide to stay happy.

Key to Happiness: Events which are not favorable should stay with you as a Story in Life and not the Story of Life! <Tweet This>

8 things happy people

I was in an animated discussion with a friend on this topic and it came to fore that being happy is not that difficult though staying unhappy is easier. The trick is to understand and dispel the impact stuff has on you. Here is what we discussed:

  1. Something is better than nothing: We keep complaining about how we do not have everything – yes you heard it. Look around you – you have family, friends, job, transportation, connected devices, media, food, and the internet. Why are you sad? If you do not have something right now, then focus on what you have.
  2. Maximize what you have: Your lover is visiting your city and can only spend 2 hours with you and you go all frenzy and start the fight (and keep justifying that you deserve more) and eventually waste those 2 hours as well. In your struggle to get more, you wasted what you had – you and your lover are unhappy as well. You also managed to do some damage to the relation.
    • Instead, plan how you will make the most of those 2 hours and make those beautiful memories.
  3. Give 110% when you are down: Your management isn’t giving you a raise or promotion you deserve and you start to withdraw while you look for other opportunities. Guess what 2 outcomes exist:
    1. You get the new opportunity and you move on: But you have left a bad name for yourself and burned the bridges for you to ever come back. If you do continue to give more, who knows what could be the possibilities. What if your new employer conducts a ref-check on attitude and performance? What if your current management realizes their mistake and now want to promote you and give you a fatter raise?
    2. You do not get the new opportunity: You ensured your performance is down and you stay where you were. No one promotes employees who hold back. If you continue to perform, there may be newer opportunities which will open up. Also, your performance will continue to put pressure on people to reward you adequately.

I got this forward video and I would like all of you to see this and soak in the message.

Question: What do you do to stay happy? Reply and share your secret sauce.

Suggested Readings

  1. This Monday, decide what you want in life!
  2. May be. Live with it.
  3. 3 tips to avoid Rash Decisions
  4. Leaders are never born, they become!
Advertisements

This Monday, decide what you want in life!

I believe in setting the pace – for my career and my life. However it is not as easy as writing this blog (or reading it).

We all complain of not having enough time for ourselves, to spend with our families, to pursue our passions and to do things which we love. We have become habituated to blame it on the corporate life we live, the way we live it. But guess what – it is you who needs to be blamed.

Did the penny drop?

Read the real story as told to me by Jane Doe, last week in Singapore, over some carefully chosen potions. Jane Doe Jr, her cute little angel, was feeling under the weather, however, our ever committed and dedicated protagonist decided to manage the situation by asking her spouse and family to pitch in, so that she can attend the late evening/night conference call. As she joined the bridge, she realized that the other party hasn’t joined. She had a note in her inbox, which read, “I can’t make it as my dog is not well.”

I don’t need to write further on this.

Mails or Memories

That’s my son Zayaan Raza

Action: Take 2 minutes now…now as in right now… and decide what you want in life. Your job will always be there, but people you love may not. You may earn 10-20% less salary but you will be happier and content. Do let me know by replying to this blog what change you will make. I’d love to know.

Eventually, You must have more memories than mails.

May be. Live with it.

I am a huge fan of mentoring – no doubt. However, I disagree that learning only happens when planned. Most of the super-sticky and impactful learning experiences I have had have happened unplanned. [Tweet This]

I was in a meeting with DP Singh, Vice President & HR Head, India South Asia, IBM, to discuss the crazy-fun work we do under India HR Hub effort where we focus on accelerating the adoption of social and technology by HR Professionals. The conversation drifted to team-work and DP shared with us 2 tips to ensure teams stay together and continue to improve.

DP posits that we should observe 2 behaviors when working in a team:

  • may-be-live-with-it-socialglamorMay be: Most of the time, teams become war zones when team members start to shoot down ideas and people. This takes an ugly spiral turn and then becomes a norm. This behaviour inhibits team members to be open and share ideas or suggestions. DP believes each team member should listen to the idea or suggestion and consider – ‘may be’ this is possible. This approach allows you to be inclusive, encourages new ideas and also opens up a new perspective. So next time you hear a new suggestion, think.
  • Live with it: When your idea or suggestion is not considered by the team, ask yourself if you can ‘live with it’ before getting into a frenzy to dismantle the fabric around you. It is very easy to get worked up (also read: 3 tips to avoid Rash Decisions) and take decisions which do not serve any fruitful purpose. Do not attach your ego with the outcome and always keep the team agenda in your perspective.

When I heard these points, I kept thinking – how easy it is to follow these 2 steps and what an impactful learning this is for all of us. So many times we see great teams doing average work because team members start to cannibalize as they tend to solution other team members than the problem.

Do you have any idea to make amazing teams? DO share with me by commenting.

More to read

3 tips to avoid Rash Decisions

Did your decision make the situation better? If not, then it wasn’t a good decision. [Tweet this]

We all have been there, done that. What? Rash and Crazy decisions. And most of the time, these decisions, although seemingly justified, come and haunt us. Every time we take a rash decision, we make ourselves vulnerable and put risks at play.

  • Your boss is difficult to work with – you quit your job.
  • Your spouse doesn’t appreciate your passion – you start to ignore them.
  • Your friends forgot to invite you – you unfriend them.
  • The parking lot guy could not guide you – you start yelling.

What is happening? In all of these instances (and I know there are many more – why don’t you share some by commenting to this blog) the reaction to the situation has done nothing to address the issue. Almost all the times, the issue continues to stay and your reaction becomes another issue to be addressed.

rash-decision-sociaglamor

So what should you do?

I don’t know. I will tell you what I do and you might wish to try that. There is no set answer but I will give you three tips:

  1. Have an honest discussion to know the reason. Ask ‘why’? There is always a story and be ready to accept the story and change your perspective.
  2. Take out protagonists from the story – See how one would deal with the situation if you take off names and just keep the story. Sometimes our bias/love towards people influences us – don’t let that happen.
  3. Talk to a more mature person – this person could be a friend, spouse, mentor, colleague… ask them what should you do after sharing the honest story you know. Third party view always helps.

It’s always understood that each situation will be unique and would require that much in depth introspection however next time, blood rushes to your head, sit down and chose one of the options. The idea is to give yourself time, perspective and options. The approach should be to avoid rash decisions and impact of those decisions.

24 Awesome #Talent Quotes for You

Here is a list of quotes for you to learn and share. I will continue to add more from time to time.

  1. #WorkCulture – Leaders enable, employees sustain it. [Tweet this]
  2. Working with a good manager is like having fresh food – anything after that tastes bad!
  3. Not sure if employees leave because of bad managers, but for sure employees stay back for good ones.
  4. Leadership isn’t about you but about people, their culture and your ability to take them along.
  5. Organizations need to focus on work culture and experience.
  6. The crux of life is to learn something new, everyday and share it with others!
  7. Leadership isn’t about others but you! Learn to lead yourself ethically and others will follow.
  8. Organizations forget the ‘L’ and provide ‘earning’ which only fulfills the material demands. Make people hungry for learning and growth. [Tweet this]
  9. Work Culture is made by Leaders. If you want a certain culture, be prepared to walk the talk. [Tweet this]
  10. Don’t invest in technology and use people. Rather invest in people and use technology. [Tweet this]

11. Data is not Analytics. Its use to solve business challenge is. [Tweet this]

12. Mentoring isn’t about you, it is about the mentee. Don’t make your clones.[Tweet this]

13. Some people make your worklife misreable. How to deal with them?

14. Never give up but give up foolishness. [Tweet this]

15. Learning is the easiest thing one can do – the most difficult one is taking the first step. #Growyourcareer #Talent [Tweet this]

16. The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others! #Life #Talent #Career [Tweet this]

17. Our super-charged, hyper-connected workforce needs active, #social and open #leaders. Cherish or Perish! #socbiz #Leadership [Tweet this]

18. Talent is not what you have, but what you do with it. #Success #Leadership [Tweet this]

19. Talent alone will not take you there, start working on your #Attitude #Success #Life [Tweet this]

20. Even the hardest #sellers have to understand the soft client issues. #SalesTip #Success [Tweet this]

21. Create a plan & assign importance – then learning will become a ‘part’ of your life rather than just a part of your routine. [Tweet this]

22. Money isn’t everything in life. Those who get this are always happy. Those who don’t are sometimes happy [Tweet this]

23. The most interested people in any meeting are the ones who hardly care! #Ironic #workplacefun [Tweet this]

24. Employee engagement is not a destination but a journey #Talent [Tweet this]

Feel free to add your quotes if you wish me to include them here under #QuotebyKhalid. Please only share your original quotes.

4 steps to Career Advancement

Career Growth

This image was clicked in 2007, hence I look different, say younger!

Last week, I was invited by Anurag Mohit, Vice President – Compensation & Benefits, Growth Markets to speed mentor IBM Compensation Professionals in Growth Markets on ‘Career Advancement using Social’, as part of Velocity – the Career Fest. It was really interesting to talk to IBMers across the globe and provide them with guidance.

I was honored to be a mentor along with some real heavy weights, like Shantanu Jha, VP, HR Integrated Services Team, Anil Jalali, Region HR Partner Leader – Asia, Aruna Padmanabhan, Director (HR) – Area South and Nickle Lamoreaux, HR Vice President, Growth Markets.

One key theme which emerged from the conversation was, “How do I create my career advancement plan?” I am sharing my thoughts with you all.

Career is not your next role – it is your overall plan. Your next role may help you get there. As Nickle Lamoreaux aptly puts it “Your career is not a sprint; it is a marathonTweet: Your career is not a sprint; it is a marathon! http://ctt.ec/8au81+ via @khalidraza9 #career #growth #socbiz.” Lemme share a simple plan that I follow:

Set a goal: Career advancement starts with knowing where to go – having a plan for your career. Most of the time we fail to do that and then we wonder why, that too after losing considerable time! This sounds like a cliché, but having a plan allows you to see the goal clearly.

Plan your moves: Once your goal is set, understand and work with your career mentor (now you know you should definitely have a career mentor) to see what will be the next few roles you would need to get there.

Get skilled: This goes without saying. As you plan your next move (discussed in point 2) you would need skills to make you eligible and competent for that role. Again, your skills mentor (now you know you should have a skills mentor) should be able to help you here but the onus lies with you. I am glad that a few IBMers reached out to me to mentor them on Social Media after the event!

Network: I cannot stress enough on this point. This is a key point in career advancement. Now, if you look at the word, it clearly says Network = Net+Work. Don’t just add people to your circle and feel happy about it. You need to invest time and effort to nurture those relations. Social Media allows you to showcase your work and engage with your network and that in return will allow people to know your skills and help you grow further.

The more your share, the more people will recognize you. If you stay in your silo and do awesome work, only your manager and team will know. So go out there and shine – create your SocialGlamor which will allow you to showcase yourself.

Lemme share what Aadil Raza Mansoori, my elder brother, told me once, “You know you are good, but you gotta show them that you are good!” Tweet: You know you are good, but you gotta show them that you are good! http://ctt.ec/YcU52+ via @khalidraza9 #career #growth

Edited by: Vanitha Poojary

Everyone around me is stupid!

Everyone is stupidAah it’s Monday and the first day of the week – the most loved one by all office goers and people like me who work from home – thank you IBM (I miss going to office sometimes…not always but sometimes. Also read how working from home can work against you). Going to office is fun, especially when you have a good crowd around you (now this is subjective). The definition of good is debatable, so let’s not focus on that.

We all whine that everyone around us is stupid and how impossible it is for us to work  productively. We tend to forget that these stupid people are the ones we have to work and live with. I always laugh at the perception and more so when I came across this fascinating article by Suzanne Lucas – 5 Signs That You’re the Problem.  It made me realize that people are never stupid, our perceptions are. We always try and measure people against our capabilities and our expectations.

We always brush a speaker aside if he/she makes a mistake while reading out news, but we wet our pants if are ever asked to speak in public. 🙂 The bigger problem here is that this unwilling and unwitting ‘perception-rollercoaster’ makes the work environment unhealthy. We start judging our colleagues and eventually feel that we need to move out/away, not realizing that we will be encountering the same species, everywhere!

People will always be stupid and “I” will always be smarter, Tweet: People will always be stupid and but we need to work in teams and we need compassion and understanding to deal with others. Think beyond your ego and see how good everyone is. Otherwise we get stuck in a vicious ‘everyone is stupid’ spiral.

The question that comes up here is of course is what can organizations do to create an engaged workforce who is productively active at all the times. I feel ‘social’ has the answer. The differences or perception of friction appears when people stop communicating. Social platforms like communities and forums allow people to communicate constantly while harnessing mutual knowledge and promoting collaboration at all times. Whiners are always shunned away!

But the answer to the question lies within each of us – how we treat others when they are not watching us. Are there people around you who you think are stupid? Are they really stupid? What impression do they have of you? I will be interested in knowing more about your stupid bunch – do share through comments.

Edited by: Vanitha Poojary

%d bloggers like this: